FROM REJECTION TO CREATION
Tell me you’ve NEVER felt rejection in your life and I know you would be lying. Every person in this Universe, has experienced or will experience rejection more than once in their lifetime. This is a proven fact. However, rejection isn’t always a bad thing. On this blog post, I will share a bit about how I have been able to use rejection as a tool to help me overcome adversity and instead, used it to create a better version of myself each time.
In simple terms, to be rejected is the opposite of being accepted. In my case, I have experienced rejection many times. Rejection comes in many forms, at any time, and does NOT discriminate. You may have felt rejection in the past caused by your parents, perhaps an employer, a friend, or even a romantic partner.
I am sure many of you may relate to this, but receiving that “rejection email” from an employer is never a good feeling. It means you were not qualified enough to fill the position or perhaps there was someone else that met the qualifications better. It can also mean that this job/profession was just simply NOT MEANT FOR YOU, and that is OKAY. ◡̈ Most of these emails seem to be automated and not personalized. Which makes me feel unappreciated and very undervalued, however, I strongly believe that when something doesn’t “work out,” it can simply mean that it is not something that aligns with your purpose and that feeling of rejection can be turned into appreciation, because better things are to come your way.
Another form of rejection can be felt directly through people. From a young age, some of us begin to experience what being told “NO” feels like. Whether it comes from your parents or other adults, you start to experience what it feels like to not get everything you want. Rejection can bring out many emotions in you; like hurt feelings, sadness, shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, embarrassment and other feelings that may cause you to feel not so great. However, I personally believe that rejection can also come with many blessings in disguise. Which brings me to share some real life situations that have happened to me in order for me to come to this realization.
I have been told NO a countless amount of times. I will share about my most recent experience with rejection. It actually came from a person who’s name I will not mention but we can call him Bunny. I had gone an entire year without allowing myself the opportunity to date anyone after my last romantic relationship ended (back in 2022). Bunny is someone that had been in my life for 10+ years but this person and I were only distant friends and occasionally flirted with each other through social media, but that’s it. I was visiting the state where he currently resides and he asked me out on a date so I decided to give this person and myself, the chance to go out and enjoy a nice dinner. He treated me like a GODDESS on that evening. Swept me off my feet (literally) my face hurt that night from smiling so much. On this night, he gave me hope… but quickly, stole this feeling from me and made me feel something much worst. A month went by and this person and I were still having constant communication and connecting on a deeper level (or so I thought), making plans to see each other in the near future and even talking about trips we would be taking together. I was starting to really like this guy, and felt intrigued to see where our connection would lead to.
Bunny invited me to come see him out in his hometown, and I decided to accept the invitation and took a short trip out to see him. It was only day 3 and things started to feel a bit off between us. The energy completely changed from one day to the next. I felt distance being created by this person, (again this is my version of the story, wish I could hear his). Bunny’s attitude towards me started changing and this made me feel uncomfortable because I was staying at his house and felt “stuck” there. I obviously wasn’t being forced to stay there but I felt like it was too quick for me to jump to conclusions about this guy, and I wanted to give him a chance to be opened about what he was feeling and why he had changed in such a drastic form. When the opportunity came to be opened with each other and express our true feelings and thoughts, I went ahead and shared my most vulnerable side to Bunny, but in return I received NOTHING. This person made me believe everything was okay and that I was creating situations in my head that were not true, he reassured me everything was going to be okay. Well, that same evening, I returned back home. I sent Bunny a text letting him know of my safe arrival. I never heard back from this person. I was ghosted by someone who had brought back a spark of hope into my “romantic life” and then in a second, stole that spark and turned it into gray ashes. This feeling of rejection and unworthiness was something I had felt a very long time ago and it brought back many unhealed emotions. I felt like I couldn’t trust love again. I felt unworthy of being loved. I felt like garbage to be honest. Not the best feeling and I don’t wish it upon anyone.
After giving this person some space, I decided to reach out one last time. Never heard back.
For the following weeks, I struggled a bit with “letting it go” because I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that someone had the heart to do such a thing. I wanted answers. I needed to hear what I did wrong in order to be able to understand Bunny’s actions better and move on from the situation. It took weeks for me to come out of this dark hole of rejection, this feeling of unworthiness. It took some conversations with loved ones and some long walks out in nature in order for me to realize that it didn’t have to be something I did. That perhaps this person has his own insecurities and battles he is fighting against. It took me weeks to realize that other people’s actions towards you are not personal and are only a reflection of their own dark shadows and past traumas. I realized that this person was not trying to hurt me and perhaps he didn’t even realize how invested in him I was starting to become. The Universe has a way of protecting me always. I genuinely believe that I was not meant to be with this person and I was not meant to continue investing my time and energy in someone that is still trying to find himself. Aren’t we all?
We are together in this beautiful chaotic journey called life. We are here to learn and grow from adversities presented our way, such as rejection. I have grown and become a much stronger human being with each heartbreak and each NO. In the past, I have missed out on certain opportunities and then have come to realize that every NO means many YES’ssss. We as humans, cannot control what happens to us in this lifetime, however we can control how we handle and manage each situation. I CHOOSE TO LEARN AND CREATE. That is why I have chosen to name this blog post From Rejection to Creation. Every NO is a big YES to something or someone else.
